Anthony Steven Gilbert kommentiert exklusiv für den VfB Cricket Club das zweite Testspiel England vs. Australien: The Ashes
Heute: Adelaide Oval Tag 5

Dear All,
SOD IT!
Sincerely,
Tony.

Just joking! Well, if I didn´t laugh, I´d cry. What were the fateful words I (and many others) used yesterday – “the draw is now favourite”! Hmm. England achieved the virtually impossible, and snatched defeat from the jaws of … a draw! After an overnight total of 69-1, England lost their last 9 wickets for just 60 runs in 40 overs, being all out just before tea, and leaving Australia just 168 to win.

Apparently, Strauss was victim of a decidely iffy caught off bat & pad decision by Steve Bucknor, replays showing it was pad and pad, but the finger went up, he was out top scorer on 34, and when Bell was victim of a terrible run out for 26, the rot set in: Collingwood hung around for 22 not out, Jones was the only other batsman to make double figures, with 10, and even extras, at 11 the 4th highest contributer to the total, couldn´t prolong the agony past tea. Warne ended with 4 for 49 (I think his parents named him after “Shanus Horribilis Anglicanus” which is latin-aboriginal for “he who walks all over Pommie batsmen”, or something to that effect?), Lee 2-35 and McGrath 2-15, both generous lbw´s given by Rudi Koertzen against Harmison and Anderson, but by which stage the blood lust was so high that the Pope batting no.11 in his debut match would have been given out for a golden duck if the ball had so much as even approached his pads, let alone hit them in line!

36 overs to get 168, to grind the Poms into the dust, and go a decisive 2-0 up in a 5 test Ashes series; game on! Langer went early on for 7, and Martyn may have arrogantly wafted a catch off Flintoff late on for 5 (but then you have to play yourself into a position where you can be able to waft arrogantly at anything?!), but Ponting, 49, and especially Hussey, maturing fast with a superb 61 not out and Michael Clarke with 21 not out, brushed aside any lingering doubts and with 3.1 overs to spare, the Second Ashes test was in the bag marked “Australian Cricket Team – not to be removed without permission”!

England now have the dubious distinction of being the Test team to win the toss, bat first, score the now highest total of 551-6
AND declare, and still lose the Test – oops! Doubtless there will be a few more unwanted records for England still to come out of the wash of this match!
Jonathan Agnew, summing up on BBC Radio 4`s Test Match Special,
commented that the usual award of a “champagne moment” would be suspended, because as far as England were concerned, there weren´t any – champagne moments, that is; a bit harsh on Hoggard for his brave bowling, and Collingwood for his double ton, only the 3rd achieved by an Englishman in Oz, but now he´s also joined Dennis Amiss (in 1969 v W. Indies?) as an England batsmen to score over 200 and still end up on the losing side!

Perhaps more pithy was Aggers later comment that the highlights were on BBC 2 TV tonight at 11.20PM, “well after the watershed”, i.e., late enough for small children, pets, and adults of a nervous disposition not to be upset by them, to put it mildly! Perhaps the final words, for NOW, should justifiably go to an Australian, the much afore-mentioned S.Warne, who when asked for his first thoughts by ABC Radio, when still breathless from his rush up the steps to the dressing room and search for his first – of many! – lagers, was heard, I think, to say that Australia`s bowlers had “bowled their nackers”, a not oft heard expression in the Northern Hemisphere, but one which, if VFB Oldenburg´s resident Aussies, Calvyn & Marcus, can stop celebrating long enough to confirm, roughly translates as “bowled their socks off”, the polite version, or, less polite, “bowled their b******s off”, to be more vernacular! A pretty fitting Australian comment on events; blunt, dry, and to the point!

As for an English view on matters, sod it, as mentioned way above, Christmas is cancelled, especially for the England squad, and might I suggest for the traditional Fancy dress party on tour, sackcloth and Ashes for the costume design, all round – get it?
Well, that´s me done for now, Second Ashes Test done and dusted; I´d like to say it´s been fun, but it hasn`t … well, not much, anyway! Bah, humbug!***
Yours, in search of the aspirins and the industrial strength ear plugs to blot out any noise of partying pom-bashers,
Tony.

*** Scrooge, from “A Christmas carol”, by Charles Dickens,when asked on his thoughts about the Festive season, goodwill to all men, and all that rot ….! T.T.F.N.

Anthony Steven Gilbert kommentiert die Ashes exklusiv für den VfB Cricket Club.
Dieses Mal: Tag 4

Dear All,

[media 2391 grosslinkstext]Despite my best efforts, after much coming (to the wicket) and going (back to the dressing rooms) in Adelaide on Monday, a draw is still looking the most likely outcome between Freddie´s boys in the egg and bacon ties (the club tie for the M.C.C. or Marylebone Cricket Club is yellow and red stripes) and Ricky`s lads in the green baggy caps!

With major contributions of 124 from Michael Clark/e, 60 from Adam Gilchrist and 43 from Shane (were his parents BIG fans of the 1953 Hollywood Western of the same name I.E. SHANE, starring Alan Ladd in the title role, and Brandon de Wilde [were his folks big fans of Marlon Brando AND Oscar Wilde? I digress, seriously!], in the role of young Joey, the immensely irritating little brat who spends almost the entire 118 minutes whining “Shaaaaanne” at every available opportunity, though bizarrely enough for a Hollywood Western, there is no sign of Alan Ladd´s ability to bowl even a maiden over – though Joey`s Mother in the film, played by Jean Arthur, does have a bit of a crush on him, though she´s no maiden as she´s far too old and by definition a Mother which rules her out of being a maiden, if you know what I mean, and I`m not even sure about that anymore!!!) Warne – see 12 lines back!

Australia eventually reached 512 all out, Hoggard again the best performer with the cherry in his hand, with figures of 42-6-7-109. England then survived a potentially sticky spell of 19 overs before stumps, but not on a sticky wicket but more a pudding as Geoff “I´ll say anything I like, just as long as the fees right” Boycott would and frequently does say in his BROAD Yawksher (a.k.a. Yorkshire!) accent, and had moved onto 59 for the loss of Cook, an overall match lead of 97, with one day left in which to reach a “safe” total of say, 350, and leave enough time to get the Aussies out for a second time without them scoring enough runs; the kind of thing English schoolboys dream of, and Aussie schoolboys have nightmares about before waking up and realising it was only a bad dream, and pigs might fly, but only very rarely, and mostly only when a tornado has whirled them up into the air … I.E. I very much doubt it will happen!!! Day 5 will dawn shortly, at least in Adelaide it will!

Here´s hoping the collective XI´s have enough stamina to perform on the 5th Day, and you enough patience and will to live to want to read my 5th and Final missive on – the Second Ashes Test … watch this space!?
Yours, even more confused than I was when the Test started only 4 days ago,
Tony

Anthony Gilbert kommentiert exklusiv die Ashes 2006 für den VfB Cricket Club
Heute: Tag 3 im Adelaide Oval

Day 3.

As my server didn´t want me to send any e-mails yesterday, you get two for the price of one today! And, as feared by all Pomms, the Diggers have dug in, and at close on Day 3, the Australians have fought well to 312-5, Hoggard taking all 4 wickets to fall, but Ponting, the Aussie Skipper, having been dropped by Giles on 35, moved imperiously on to 142, enjoying a fine partnership with Hussey, eventually out for 91.

With Clarke and Gillespie moving smoothly on in the last few overs, a draw must now be favourite, unless they can both be removed quickly first thing tomorrow, or England have a dramatic collapse in their 2nd Innings; my advice is, lay off the kangaroo steaks, especially if they look a bit underdone! And don´t come the raw prawn either!! I think Calvyn and Marcus know what I mean, and if not, then I´ll be spitting chips …
Here´s hoping a bore draw can be avoided,
Yours, thinking positively,
Tony

Anthony Steven Gilbert kommentiert die Ashes exklusiv für den VfB Cricket Club.
Dieses Mal: Tag 2

Dear All,
A second day of good news, England-wise, from down under or Adelaide to be more exact! 551-6 declared, Collingwood 206, Petersen 158, a record 4th wicket stand of 310, McGrath and Warne conceeding record numbers of runs AND Australia 28-1 at the close, losing Langer for 4 blwd Flintoff ct Petersen in the first 10 overs of their 1st innings.

Strewth, thats almost having your nose ground in the outfield dust if you´re an Aussie supporter; almost! Lets hope England don´t overdo the premature celebrations in the bars today and knock back too much of the amber liquid and take to the field tomorrow all squiffy eyed and weak at the knees, as we all know heat and alcohol don´t mix well, unless you´re Merv Hughes?! Act 3 to follow,

Yours optimistically,

Tony

Anthony Steven Gilbert kommentiert die Ashes exklusiv für den VfB Cricket Club.
Dieses Mal: Tag 1 im Adelaide Oval

Dear All,
After having been kept wonderfully up to date on Englands catastrophic display in the disaster that went under the general heading of the 1st Ashes Test by Asoka and Marcus, I thought it only right and proper to register the fact that after the first day of the 2nd Ashes Test from Adelaide (the Oval?), England, having astutely won the toss and even more astutely chosen to wield the willow first, have not only scored more runs than the number of wickets they have lost – something that might normally be taken for granted by a Test team.
But after Englands hammering at Brisbane not necessarily so! – but have actually moved on to a respectable 266 for 3 at stumps, with contributions from Bell of 60, Petersen 60 n.o. and Collingwood in the nervous nineties at 98 n.o.
This may only be a short-lived glimmer of hope in an otherwise uncertain future, Ashes-wise downunder, but I for one am enjoying it while it lasts; i.e., quite likely till the opening session of the 2nd Day of the 2nd Ashes Test in Adelaide …….?!

Yours realistically,

Tony